Once Upon A New Time

over my shoulder So I feel that lately all my blogs have been about the same things... struggles with raising a baby, and well, what can I say, that is pretty much all I do these days... So here goes another one. Pack and Play Bassinet I am sitting here on the floor of Max's nursery listening to the soft ocean waves that flow through the speakers of his sound machine. I have to say it is a sound that I hear all night and lots of the day. I have tried some of the other sound options, and Max does like the "white noise" sound bite as well, but it kinda freaks me out when I am up in the middle of the night...I can always hear little background noises, like a ghost whispering...so ya waves are the best and peaceful. I am sitting in here writing my blog because I am too nervous to leave haha. I just know that if I try leave and go do something, he will wake up and start crying. Better to be here, so maybe I can sshh him back to sleep if I get there quick enough.

So about 10 months ago I found out I was pregnant...it was kind of a surprise and kind of not. Ever since then I began to change, both physically and emotionally. Even though the physical changes didn't become apparent until months later, my thoughts and feelings were switched into "baby mode" and I was considering baby names, baby room decor and how I could be a good parent....all things that only briefly crossed my mind before. Once there's the weight gain, every day discomfort, and physical limitations that being pregnant brings, I began to feel less an less like the person I had been for the past 26 years...In the last few months of pregnancy there is the finish line to look forward too. That ultimate goal of getting the baby ou tand feeling normal again, not like a huge unatractive incubator:) I couldnt wait to go back to normal and be myself again. So then labor arrives, and there is the grossnness and bodily discomfort that follows that for days and weeks. I th