Thursday, May 30, 2013

What Not to Wear (because I'm 27 and a Mom)

Alright, well since I have gotten back  into my pre-pregnancy stage and it looks as if the weather may finally be giving us some warm days I have been looking into what to wear for the spring and summer. I am finding it a little difficult to fit my style and budget into clothes these days for these reasons.

My age. Ok, so yes I am only 27  so to me that still seems pretty young in the grand scheme of things. And I want to dress young. I do realize that I am getting older and can only pull off certain clothes while in my twenties so I don't want to waste the few years I have left. I have the rest of my life to dress "older" so why do I want to do it now? Answer: I don't. I still want to wear fun trendy items. But with this, there comes a balance. A few years ago I pretty much stopped buying anything from the Juniors sections at the stores because I figured I am an adult and need to start shopping like one. Today, I occasionally cheat and get something from that section if it is super cute or on sale haha, but for the most part I steer clear from it. Most of the clothes there are very "teenagerish" anyway and I find myself wondering if they make me look too young. I don't want to look like I am trying to be in high school again, or that I am desperately trying to make people think I am 21 again, because lets face it that is not going to happen. I simply want to appear to be a mature, yet trendy and cute 27 year old woman. I am still young, and want to appear that way without going too far. It seems to be kind of a difficult balance.

Since I am a Mother. Everyone is aware of "mom" jeans and how the stereo-typical mother dresses. It is less than pleasing. Mothers tend to fall into the "I just don't give a crap what I wear because I have so much other stuff to do" slot. I totally get it; wearing cute clothes that just get covered with food and pulled on just doesn't have the same appeal. And when I am around the house, I must admit that I spend most of my time in yoga pants and tee shirts, shorts if I can. But, on the few times a week that I get to go somewhere, I take advantage of the opportunity and dress the best I can. Plus, a lot of mothers tend to believe that they some how need to stop being women and start only being a mother. Which I don't think is right for me. I need the few days a week to dress up (sort of) and feel pretty and stylish again. I have always been a firm believer that even though you become a MOM, you are still a woman and a person. Being a Mom is not the only thing that defines me and I like to show that with my wardrobe.

My size. I have never been the skinniest person around, but usually not the biggest either. Over the years I have gained weight and lost it, but for the most part have stayed about where I am now. I have always thought I have good body parts and some other body features that I would rather cover up. For instance, I have always kind of liked my legs. I'm not sure if that sounds conceded but I think I have nice calves and ankles, and my thighs are just ok haha. For that reason, I always love wearing heels, they elongate my legs. So, it's one of my assets and I'd like to show them off while I still have nice legs. I am not sure how many years I have left, so I am going to take advantage of it. One of my problem areas has always been my stomach/belly region. This area got worse with pregnancy and so it is the area that I like to keep covered. There are many clothes items that there is an unspoken rule about and only for "skinny" girls to wear. But on the other hand, I don't want to go around always so scared of my body image that I have to cover up every part of me because it isn't in perfect shape. I have found that there is a line. I have accepted there are certain clothes items that just won't ever look good on my body type, and girls with my size just shouldn't wear. I think this comes into play with every body type and whatever size you are there are things you can wear and not wear.

Why are clothes even important to me? They are important because if you have ever seen the show on TLC "What Not to Wear" you will understand. The way you present yourself to the outside world is the way people perceive you. Since perception is reality, what a person looks like on the outside, generally is a reflection of what they feel on the inside. I want to project myself as a semi-stylish twenty something mother who has fun, enjoys life and enjoys wearing cute comfortable clothes:)

Sunday, May 12, 2013

Opinions on Parenthood

So once you become a parent you will be over-loaded with advice and opinions on how to raise your child. Everyone is certain that their way is best and "the only" way it should be done. Mothers will get so worked up  I have found that parents can get VERY offended and opinionated about certain hot topics. I have found that there are certain subjects that I do not bring up with surrounded by a group of mothers as it can lead to a very heated argument and a lot of uncomfortableness. These subjects (and much more) are:

1. What and when to feed you child. (organic homemade food, all vegetarian vs store bought) ( when to start solids, juice, cows milk, you name it, people have an opinion about it)
2. The way your child sleeps. ( Co-Sleeping, sleeping on the back or belly, sleep training)
3. Breast Feeding vs Formula
4. Circumcision
5. Vaccinations
6. Birth Control
7. Chemicals in the home ( baby wipes, cleaners)

Most of MY personal parenting style as been to just go with the flow. I honestly didn't do too much research when I was pregnant about ALL the different baby products and advice because I found it WAY too over whelming. There was never any straight answer on anything. For all the research you do on one topic, there are 100 reasons why you should and shouldn't do something  I pretty much just told myself that I would figure it out as I go and people have been being parents since the dawn of time, so I am sure I could figure it out.
I have pretty much tried to do what I thought was best in my journey with parenthood. Yes, I have asked for alot of advice and there is still tons I will admit I don't know about parenting, but one thing is for sure. I know my child better than you. I am with him 24/7 and know his reactions/moods/temperament and personality. I remember getting so frustrated (when I was already beyond frustrated) about people telling me the way I should get Max to sleep or eat or the "Wow, you let your baby do that?" question followed by the polite smile. I do know that honestly some people just try to help. Saying something like, well "This _____worked for my child, so maybe it will work for yours? but all babies are different so just hang in there" was the way I liked to get advice. I can just tell that some other mothers are thinking "Well if you just do what I do then your baby will eat/sleep/ be happier"
I have gotten so fed up with young mothers telling other people and making a big stink about how their parenting choices are the best and because of them they are going to have a perfect child. I ABSOLUTELY HATE when a mother will say I need to STOP doing something.

I only have once child, so I only know how he is and thats it. I have learned to only take parenting advice from people I actually know (and like). Plus I have learned that advice from parents of at least 2 children is way more valuable. With only 1 child, a parent only knows one way to do things because that baby responded to it. ( I am including myself in this group) If they have an easy child who ate well and slept well then they think they had something to do with it. I think people with 2+ children understand how much the baby controls the parent and not the parent and not the other way around.And even then, it is just advice on their experience. That person who is telling you what to do is not living you life and in your shoes. I don't think some mothers know how bad they make other mothers feel about being an insufficient parent because their baby doesn't do the things yours does.

I am writing this blog because I want other mothers out there, or mothers to be to understand that everyone is just doing the best that they can. If you are a all- natural holistic mother who uses no chemicals, breast feeds in public, and doesn't vaccinate you child, good for you, but just because a mother uses formula and pushes her child in stroller, doesn't make her a bad parent and any less loving. I am fine with someone saying," ____ is my choice as a parent, and this is why I choose to do it or not do it". But please have respect for parents or choose a different method than you. You have no idea what their family is like.You may not agree or choose to raise your child differently , but that is the beauty of being of being a parent, you get to choose, but you don't have to be snotty or "holier than thou" about it. We are all mothers just doing the best we can, so lets start being supportive to all mothers and not JUDGMENTAL!