Monday, November 17, 2014

Getting older, and looking it

As with most of my blog posts, I have been wanting to write this one for a while. I have been thinking about this topic for the past 6 months, just wondering how to put it into words with out sounding completely lame, well I don't think I can, so I am just going to write about it anyway.

So I am 28 years old
While I am not dumb enough to call this age actually "old" I also have to admit that is not exactly "young" in the most general use of the word. For some reason or another, turning and being 28 has felt pretty hard on me. Now, I know some of you who are older will just role your eyes and say ' Oh, Please!" but just bare with me, It has been hard on me in the fact that this is the first age where I have actually said to myself " Wow, you can't really be young and dumb anymore". Up until this age I never gave age that much thought. I would simply reassure myself that
 "Oh, I am just in my early 20's, or mid 20's, plenty of people this age are still figuring out life and you have plenty of time to figure out yours" 

When your a teenager all you want to do is grow up and be the ever glorified 21! It seems like this amazing age and time to be free and young, and it really is! Than after that, age isn't nearly as exciting, but even so there are alot of things I was looking forward to at that age. I graduated college at 22, got married at 23 and still felt young enough not to have any pressure to have kids anytime soon. I was looking forward to starting a career and being a cool young adult. I remember even wanting to be a few years older, because a lot of people in the working world didn't take a young 20 something very seriously. I wanted to not be seen as some young kid anymore. Turning 25 was an awesome time for me! I had lost some weight and was doing good in my job and felt great! I was still young , but old enough too! Although my dad had always said that age 25 is the last age where you are at the peak of your life (physically) after that starts the slow decline into old age haha. So I was determined to make that age count, and I did. Ultimately, I got pregnant at 25 and had Max at 26 years old. For me, that age was perfect timing. I didn't feel too old, or too young to have a baby. Age wise, my life was turning out the way I always thought it would. And after I had Max I was way too overwhelmed and stressed to even worry about aging or anything else (which is and has been the topic of many other blogs :)  But then all of sudden I was turning 28!\

At this point things had settled down enough with Max and I was back to my normal self, which sadly had some age damage. I started noticing people my own age looking "rough" seeing photos on Facebook or even in real like of people I hadn't seen in years and being able to tell how they aged was a real shocker to me, Before this age, People, women specifically tend to get better looking, but at this age, most of us have hit our PEAK and have started the decline, Some men, on the other hand, tend to get better looking even into their 40's, sorry ladies, its just the way it is. Now, I know in 10, 5 years or even  1 year I will read back on this blog and role my own eyes and think how good I looked then compared to now haha, but this is just to mark my first year int he realization and effect of aging. I started looking at actresses in their late 20s and early 30s to see how the best of women are aging. I recently started watching the show "Once Upon A Time" and the main character on there, Emma is supposed to be 28 years old, when I saw that I kept saying to Jeff, "No way is she 28, she looks so much older!" Don't get me wrong she is still pretty and looks good, but just looked older than 28 to me, That's when the realization hit me that 28 isn't really that young and I was scared people say that about me, So I gave in and IMDB'd her. Jennifer Morrison,
the actress, turned out to be about 30 when she made the first season back in 2011. So, yes, she was older than 28, but not by much and that made me have a little bit of a reality.

Anyway looking at people roughly the same age as me I could really tell who had taken care of themselves and who hadn't. Sorry, but you can tell the ones who tanned and don't wear sunscreen. You can tell the ones who take care of themselves and try to keep up with fashion trends, you can tell the ones who have completely fallen into the "mom world" and sort of given up. Some of us look worse for wear at only age 28.This is just the first year I have been able to actually SEE this aging happening and it kind of through me a little. 

I have been aware of wrinkles and people looking older when I was in high school because of the kids moms I used to see. Let me explain, when I was maybe in second grade there was this kid's mom who used to come in and help out a lot in the classroom. I would see her a lot, she was nice and I always thought she was pretty. Fast forward to high school when I hadn't seen this mom in a about 8 years, I suddenly see her again and was shocked! I distinctly remember seeing the extra wrinkles on her face and the way she just "seemed' older. It was really wierd for me. Now, I really don't know how old she was, maybe mid 40s? But I just couldn't believe how much she had changed (or my perception of her) had changed just a few years. Since that time and when I spotted my first forehead wrinkle at the age of 17, I have been concerned about looking too old. Its just one thing that young people tend to take advantage of and not realize will always be there. 
You can ask my little sisters, I bug them about always taking off their makeup at night, especially eye makeup! Using moisturizer, putting sunscreen on and so forth. Sorry girls, but I think you will thank me later:)

Overall, I just wasn't feeling my best at age 28. I just felt like I looked older, and it was making me feel a bit down. The dark circles under my eyes looked deeper, the crows feet by my eyes were getting more noticeable and even my teeth looked less white. Even people who have amazing diets, work out all the time and only drink water, still age in the face. Its true to say. 

Not only was I looking older, but feeling older too, not physically, but emotionally Nearing age 30 make me feel like I should have my life figured out. Mainly with kids. So many of my friends with kids Max's age are pregnant again, or already have another child. I feel like I should know when/if we want to have another kid, because I feel like the biological clock is starting to tick if we want more than one more.  I should know if I ever want to go back to work, I should have my freaking student loan paid off. I should be able to enjoy cooking and be able to be an awesome Mom who cooks for her husband and kids, So many things I thought I would be be this age and not only do I not know, its showing on the lines on my face.

In conclusion, this ended up being a very long, disorganized blog with a lot of typos. 

I'm not really sure how I want to end this blog either....if you made it this far reading you are probably hoping for a big positive finish or something to make that long read worth while. Well, I may disappoint you. 

The truth is....aging is a part of life. A part most young people don't think about. We will not stay young and in our prime forever. Life goes faster the older you get and your body shows your years. Taking care of yourself is important, but just because we look older, doesn't mean we are any worse. 

There will always be someone skinnier, younger, and richer than you no matter what

I still struggle with looking older and often wish I could have my pre- baby 17 year old body and pre wrinkled skin back, but I can't. And as my mom always reminds me, we aren't getting any younger than you are right this second. so  flaunt what you have and be proud of what you have done in your life. My mom is always proud of her age and never was ashamed to admit how old she was. When I was younger I didn't really think much of it, but I can see the merit in that now and it inspires me to try to and be proud of my age and what I look like. Yes, I look older at age 28 then I did at 21 and I will still look older with every passing year, but that is just a fact of life.

Aging doesn't have to be a bad thing. Like everything in life. It is what we make it!

My Mom and I after she convinced me to wear this crop top dress after I was feeling self conscious about it being too "young and edgy" for me. She said "Wear it now because you look amazing and you're only this young now. Don't have regrets because your only going to get older and then you wont get the chance".
Thanks Mom!

-Oh, I want to add that I think women can look fabulous at any age! I am not trying to say we only get uglier as we get older, just that we look older. Beauty is the person, not the age. It is what we make it!

1 comment:

  1. Hey Sis - yeah, around 28 or so I started to feel old and weird too, wondering if I should have life figured out. But ha, in looking back, your late 20s are some of the best years ever! Seriously! You're still in your 20s so people still consider you to be young and full of youth, but you're old enough to be taken somewhat seriously too. I spent my late 20s worried about almost being 30, but you know what, once I turned 30, it was kind of awesome, because I was like "I'm in my 30s now and people better take me seriously!" and I stopped caring what people thought of me or my thoughts as much. The best part of being in your 30s is that no one can dismiss what you say because you're "too young to understand". :)

    Now...having turned 34 last month I'm kind of freaking out. Early 30s I still felt young enough. But now 34, and officially mid-30s, omg, I'm totally freaking out about things now, ha ha.