What is safety?
As so many things in the world, the concept of safety is relative. All determined by your personal worldview, and standards of your life. If you compare living conditions all over the world it is most likely that you will find a huge amount of the population living the conditions you might consider "unsafe". And they may say the same thing about you. Being safe can mean a multitude of different things to different people.
Safe means....protected from or not exposed to danger or risk; not likely to be harmed or lost
Even before coronovirus were we ever truly safe?
When I first became a parent I was overwhelmed and filled with tensions about just how many ways and things can be hurtful or unsafe for my baby. Just ask google, or your mom friends and on any given day you will hear another story of a friend's friend, or an article or a personal experience of some way a child got killed or seriously injured... it sucks. But its true, everything from improper car seats, choking, falling off a couch, being exposed to a horrible illness, cancer, malnutrition, allergic reaction to a diaper cream, whooping cough.. and the list goes on and on... this list builds as children get older... if you ever wonder if a child has gotten seriously injured or killed by doing anything... they have. Just google it- actually don't- it truly sucks. Fallen off a playground, yep. All day, every day and in every way we live our lives where there are thousands of awful things that could happen or may happen to our children.... even before we have the baby, women still die in childbirth... everyday, infants are still born... these awful things happen, and although less now, women still are aware of these risks and yet people still have babies. Despite the risk of what it could do to you and what may eventually happen to your child someday.. we still have them... we do...
Lets say you have a condition that makes you higher risk during your pregnancy. You are aware of that risk and decide to either try to have a baby or not. If we wanted to eliminate anyone ever dying in childbirth or having a child get seriously injured, we could simply eliminate the risk and never have children. And you have every right to decide the risk is too high for your family.
Something I also discovered early on in my motherhood journey is that I simply cannot worry about everything... I can't. You can't. If we did we will go mad with anxiety and worry, The truth is, we have no idea what will happen, we could all die a million different ways every day. I chose to worry about what I can, and accept what I cannot in terms of what happens to me and my child. I can't and won't live in fear that everyday I could die- which is 100% true- from tons of things. As could my child.
Every single thing we do is a calculated risk... anyone who says otherwise is simply lying.
Riding a bike... so low chance of serious injury, but large one for minor injury. Even if our child wears a helmet they could -and might- fall off in just the right way at just the right speed and hit their head and die...don't google it, but its true and has happened. Just because we all realize it is not likely- its still possible . Then we as moms, take this info, and weigh it against the fun, enjoyment and exhilaration that riding a bike brings... we weigh the risk versus the life experience and say the good out weighs the bad in probability so were gonna teach our kids to ride a bike. (probably)
The argument I hear mostly today is, well this current situation is different because you could make other people sick and die and that is not your choice to decide if you want to risk that. OK, lets say that's true. Lets say I could have this virus for 2 weeks, or forever, who really knows at this point, and never have any symptoms or anyone in my family (which I am still confused why this is a bad thing, shouldn't we be so happy that a majority of people are asymptomatic?) but anyway, lets say I do. I'm out there living my life going to the grocery store, breathing fresh air and hanging out with friends. And then someone I know gets sick? Then what? What do they do? They stay home, and have this illness that sucks and try to get better soon. Then they get better as in all likeliness they will. They come out, and start hanging out again....life y'all. Also, they become one more person with antibodies who can continue life in the economy and contribute to herd immunity. That should be praised! - Those people who are out, are also accepting the risk- so we all get it.
If someone does not wish to risk that- they stay inside- and isolate- therefore I am not around you or your mom/dad and have no risk to get you sick. If you don't want to get someone you love sick- keep them away from society. Problem solved.
You have the right to protect your and your family from this illness by staying inside- I have the right to live my life fully and take this minimal chance.
Well, what about people with underlying conditions. Again, If you have a higher risk of becoming extremely unwell, you have every right to decide the risk is too high for you. Yes you do. You can stay inside and isolated, if the risk for you outweighs the enjoyment of living life, yes stay isolated and "safe" from me. -not sarcasm- 100% do it! You do what is best for you and I will do what is best for me.
I don't want to unknowingly kill someone and I don't want someone to unknowing kill me or my family. But its a risk I'm willing to take... someone could easily kill me and my family- without meaning to- every time I get into the car... I don't want it to happen. I take precautions, we wear seat belts, I don't text and drive and try to be aware of my surroundings, and I want others to do the same. In the same way as I do with an illness. I don't cough on people, I wash my hands and try not to touch my face, and try not to spread germs. I am aware that in both scenarios I could accidentally injure someone..... Its a risk. I accept it, and so do the other people out there. If you don't ever want to die in a car crash... its simple, don't ever get into a car. If you don't want to die from a virus- of any sort ever- never go outside. Its your life... You don't want ever have to worry about the guilt of accidentally hurting someone in a car crash either...you have every right to determine that your safety- and the possibility of what you could do to others- trumps being able to experience things and see new places- 100%.
But because you determine that its too dangerous for you to drive, you CANNOT take away my right to drive and right to decide if I and the other people out there want to risk it living life to the fullest or simply being alive.
Take precautions yes, sure, Cornovirus is an added risk, it is, I can't deny it...but I've weighed my options, will take precautions and decided it is a risk I am willing to take. The risk is there, for sure, but the risk of me losing my mental state, or ability to be a good mother or tell my kids that it's better to always be safe rather than sorry, is something that is of higher value to me. I will not tell my kids, that safety is the highest concern in life no matter what... I simply won't y'all. You have every right to tell your kids that. You have every right to teach them that taking no chances, and doing absolutely everything "safely" is the way to have a best life.... You can. I won't. Even if everyone stays inside for months and months, this virus is not going to magically disappear... it's out there. We must find a way to live with it, instead of avoiding life because of it. Even if a vaccine is made, and you decide you want your child to get it, the virus will still be there y'all... and getting a vaccine is also a risk... so... life is all about risk. You decide yours and I decide mine.
Simply being alive does not make a life worth living.
SO when will it be safe?
Never. You will never be safe from the world... none of us will get out of this alive...you consider what is important to you and live you life according to your version of safety. And I will live mine. A world where we avoid every single risk, is a life not worth living... if you never take a risk... you never get a reward- or even a life...
Also, in terms of safety... I feel less safe now than I have have before in my life. And not because of the virus, but because of the way people treat people and the situation we have now deemed an acceptable way to live. You go to the grocery store, you get scowled at, no one talks, or even looks up, its scary. People shame your for bringing a child out of your house. People feel vindicated to call the police on someone who is not wearing a mask walking down the street. This type of world that we have allowed to happen while trying to mitigate COVID risk scares me one thousand times more...I fear the world I am setting my child up to live in. The world where people ingrain into their children that playing with their friends could unknowingly kill them... y'all... wow. The world where fear rules the thoughts and minds... fear of getting sick, fear of getting someone else sick, fear of getting shamed for having a different opinion, fear of wanting a different life....
I want a safe world for myself and my children just like you do. I want this virus to magically be gone and no one to die from horrible things ever again. I truly do! I believe in working towards this goal, but also accepting the fact that we are never truly safe, and we never will be. No one can ever look you in the eye and say your won't sporadically die from a paper cut... they can't. But, if you live your life avoiding every way you could ever be injured...what kind of life are you living?
Comments
Post a Comment