Simply Whelmed...
Over the past few days I have felt completely stressed and busy yet also extremely bored and under stimulated. I have been both overwhelmed and underwhelmed, and I can't decide which is worse.
Recently I have been so frustrated I just want to scream and cry. Maybe my pregnancy emotions are again to blame for them, if so, I have to say that they (pregnancy hormones) are not making this move any easier. Besides the whole issue with trying to get a doctor on base, which is a separate issue in itself, nothing seems to be getting completely done. It seems as if we finally figure out something, another problem or issue arises.
Which brings me to baby stuff. I feel so unprepared, but there is nothing I can do to become more prepared for when he arrives. I feel like there is so much I already don't know about being a parent that not being able to set up his nursery or pack my hospital bag is making me feel even worse. A lot of my friends I see on facebook who are pregnant have the room all set up and are constantly talking about how excited they are for their little bundle of joy to arrive...they sound so prepared and all it does is make me feel less ready to become a mom. I know they told us when we got our stuff packed up that is was possible we wouldn't get any of our furniture until a week before Max is due, but at the time it still seemed like such a long time away that it didn't seem to hit me. As weeks go by, I am starting to get really anxious about not having anything ready! I hate just sitting here waiting and doing nothing to help myself realize that in a matter of weeks I will have a baby! Wow, there are so many problems, issues, and questions I have about having a baby that I had simply put out of my mind before, but it seems like it's all I can think about lately and it's driving me crazy!
Then there is the part about trying to do Britishy things and enjoy England when I don't have anything figured out. I feel lame sitting here in the room all day, but what am I supposed to do? I don't have a car, I guess I could use Jeff's car but A. I have no idea where I am going half the time and B. What would I do all by myself? People keep asking me if I am enjoying England and if it feel so different being a different country and if I have got to see cool things....All I have been trying to do is set up my life here, and its way more stressful than I thought. Plus it's weird enough having to get used to not having the normal small things you get used to in the States. Simple things like Netflix to watch any of your favorite shows when your bored, being able to call and or text any of your friends or family because they are all in the same time zone, or even being able to drive to a local Walmart or Target to shop around for your everyday items... Even as I type this stuff it sounds terribly petty, and I know it is...
I am trying to stay positive and tomorrow I am going to Spouses Club event, so maybe I will be able to meet a few people there, plus it gives me something to do.
I know I shouldn't complain, because it truly is awesome that we are here, in England getting to do all this. I know in a few months, once I make friends and get settled with Max, that everything will be much better. But after having such great friends and support system back in Montana, I really forgot how hard moving far away really is.
Recently I have been so frustrated I just want to scream and cry. Maybe my pregnancy emotions are again to blame for them, if so, I have to say that they (pregnancy hormones) are not making this move any easier. Besides the whole issue with trying to get a doctor on base, which is a separate issue in itself, nothing seems to be getting completely done. It seems as if we finally figure out something, another problem or issue arises.
Which brings me to baby stuff. I feel so unprepared, but there is nothing I can do to become more prepared for when he arrives. I feel like there is so much I already don't know about being a parent that not being able to set up his nursery or pack my hospital bag is making me feel even worse. A lot of my friends I see on facebook who are pregnant have the room all set up and are constantly talking about how excited they are for their little bundle of joy to arrive...they sound so prepared and all it does is make me feel less ready to become a mom. I know they told us when we got our stuff packed up that is was possible we wouldn't get any of our furniture until a week before Max is due, but at the time it still seemed like such a long time away that it didn't seem to hit me. As weeks go by, I am starting to get really anxious about not having anything ready! I hate just sitting here waiting and doing nothing to help myself realize that in a matter of weeks I will have a baby! Wow, there are so many problems, issues, and questions I have about having a baby that I had simply put out of my mind before, but it seems like it's all I can think about lately and it's driving me crazy!
Then there is the part about trying to do Britishy things and enjoy England when I don't have anything figured out. I feel lame sitting here in the room all day, but what am I supposed to do? I don't have a car, I guess I could use Jeff's car but A. I have no idea where I am going half the time and B. What would I do all by myself? People keep asking me if I am enjoying England and if it feel so different being a different country and if I have got to see cool things....All I have been trying to do is set up my life here, and its way more stressful than I thought. Plus it's weird enough having to get used to not having the normal small things you get used to in the States. Simple things like Netflix to watch any of your favorite shows when your bored, being able to call and or text any of your friends or family because they are all in the same time zone, or even being able to drive to a local Walmart or Target to shop around for your everyday items... Even as I type this stuff it sounds terribly petty, and I know it is...
I am trying to stay positive and tomorrow I am going to Spouses Club event, so maybe I will be able to meet a few people there, plus it gives me something to do.
I know I shouldn't complain, because it truly is awesome that we are here, in England getting to do all this. I know in a few months, once I make friends and get settled with Max, that everything will be much better. But after having such great friends and support system back in Montana, I really forgot how hard moving far away really is.
Ahhh Erin...all of these things are big adjustments! You are doing great! Try attacking in little bites..only what you can feel like doing for an hour at a time! Sweet baby Max will not care if he has a a perfect nursery waiting for him...He only will look in your eyes and know He is loved! Babies can sleep in a drawer in need be (look how small the nursery sleeper/crib is. And with just diapers, wipes, a few sleepers,receiving blankets and food...and they will be happy and content. You will be a sweet loving Mom and all will work out wonderfully!
ReplyDeleteThen some new military wife who is pregnant will end up at your base, after all your new setteling adventures are finished, and you will know just what to do to help her out. I am so proud of you for taking on this adventure with Jeff and being so upfront with all your emotions!
I love you and can't wait to see you in August!
Your Mom
Thanks Mom! Love you!
DeleteOh friend. I am so sorry that everything seems so crazy right now. Moving is hard, and so far along being prego doesn’t seem to be helping. I wish the timing had been different for your big move but I think things will work out in the end. I remember my first 3 months in the UK feeling that way… we lived off base and I had to wait that long before I could apply for work since my car was being shipped over. It was the first time I had moved away from my friends and family and Paul deployed shortly after we arrived. That is such a small blip on my radar now looking back. Once you start meeting people and get into the groove I have no doubt that you'll forget about all the stress and boredom you once had at the beginning of your new journey in a new place and as a new mom. Remember that the offer still stands for me to hook you up with my friend, fellow spouse and mother who is still stationed at RAF Lakenheath if you wish to meet someone to help show you around, kill some time or just answer questions. When you are ready, I have a whole list of shops for you to visit and restaurants for you to try…much more to look forward too then the waiting your stuck doing now but I am glad to see that you two have already started exploring the neighboring villages. Have an egg custard tart for me once you venture into Tesco or Sainsbury will ya?! They are heaven! Miss you!
ReplyDeleteErin, Sorry to hear you are going through this waiting and adjustment period. Often the next day will bring a brighter feeling. If you feel like taking a walk and snapping a few pictures of your neighborhood, I'm sure several of us would be fascinated to see them. Love you and Max and Jeffrey!
ReplyDelete